i suppose i should start updating a blogspot now. peace out, livejournal. :)

http://mrsnolette.blogspot.com/

i had the most beautiful day ive had in a long time. :) the weather was perfect and there's something about being able to have all of the windows open. :)
ry left for work at 8:45 this morning, just for four hours. meanwhile, i got joshua and i ready and went to my monthly OB appointment. everythings good... ive gained another 7 pounds. makes sense... i'm downing a tubbaware bowl full of corn flakes as i type this. :)
ryan pulled up not long after we got home. we all changed into sweats/shorts/tshirts and headed to walmart for those tennis rackets. joshua had an absolute blast running all over the tennis court, chasing the balls and playing in yesterdays puddles. ry and i got a good work out, too. it felt great to be in the sun, to get my body moving.
we came home around four and while the boys took showers i cooked dinner... lemon pepper oven-baked chicken, potatoes and two veggie sides. mmm. joshua went to bed and ry passed out in the living room afterwards. i made joshuas rice crispy treat easter eggs for him to dip in chocolate and decorate with sprinkles tomorrow. :) i cant wait to take pictures of that. in a selfish sort of way, having children is a blessing simply for the fact that i get to experiance childhood all over again. everything is so much more beautiful through the eyes of a child... so many firsts. :)
ah, and so we watched a red box movie (burn before reading), put new sheets on the bed, and then i took a cool bath... the end to a perfect day.
well, almost the end. 20/20 has something interesting on tonight at 10, and then ill go to sleep... in the arms of my very best friend. <3

ack! im only 5 1/2 months pregnant and ive already gained 17 pounds! i gained 28 with joshua, so it looks like ill be tipping the scales a bit with shiloh. haha.

better lay off the onion rings and root beer floats!






no but seriously.......

old picture.



maybe its just me, but theres a youngness in my eyes. i remember that dress, too.

its dark and hazey outside. i want to make rice crispy easter eggs with joshua today. rys working four hours of overtime this afternoon. :/
http://www.ricekrispies.com/Display.aspx?recipe_id=10761&kic=true
i think he'll enjoy it. he loves cooking with us.

another baby appointment today. im excited to see how much weight ive gained! haha. it must be the shock factor... i find it kind of amusing (as long as it doesnt get carried away, of course).
i told ryan that after i give birth to shiloh im immediatly getting into a work out routine, going tanning, chopping my hair off, and going on a wardrobe shopping spree. i seriously need an update.

im fighting with ryan to turn off the tv and play with me. i cant keep a straight face... he's being hillarious. hahaha.
im also trying to send a picture from my phone to my email but its being retarded. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.
aha! it works. victory.


22 weeks!

last night i fell asleep watching "lie to me" with ryan at 8:30. i planned on just taking a quick nap but the next thing i knew it was 1am and ryan was waking me up to go to bed. as bummed as i was that i wasted our entire evening sleeping i know i really needed the rest. this pregnancy is kicking my butt with fatigue.

i dreampt that shiloh was born pre-mature (though fully developed?), was a boy, and looked like a mini mike tyson. !!! it was one of the freakiest pregnancy dreams ive had (next to dreaming that joshua kept being born a corn cob baby doll). i woke up so relieved that she was still my little girl, still coming in august. im dying of anticipation... i just want to hold her.

no plans for today, really. had to pay rent, but i dont really mind it anymore because i love where we live. it was always such a drag writing out that check to great bridge apartments. i like everything about this condo... the many many windows, the layout, the kitchen, our bathroom, the kids rooms... its perfect. :)
we have to run to the store this afternoon and then i REALLY wanted to go to play it again sports and pick up some tennis rackets. i discovered that the greenbriar ymca has tennis courts! im actually not that bad and its a kick-butt work out.

tonight we're meeting pastor mike and miss kathy for dinner at red robin.

thats about it. :)

my boobs are getting bigger by the day. every morning ry and i just kind of look at them and marvel. maybe thats too much information but thats just how we do. pregnancy is a strange, interesting thing. :)

i watched a show on conception the other day on discovery health. it almost brought me to tears. im completely amazed at how God designed our bodies... how he designed conception. though they were spending the entire show explaining how it works, at the end i was more mystified and amazed than ever. its more than a sperm and an egg. its more than science. its more than "have sex, get pregnant". society has watered down this miracle more than i realized. i didnt realize what an absolute wonder it is that ryan and i conceived shiloh. ugh, God forgive me... she's a miracle. she more than just "happened". she's more than a missed day of birth control. after really seeing conception take place im more convinced than ever that God is present inside those wombs, making sure that his dream comes to fruition.

i mailed three red envelopes to the White House yesterday, each one representing one life taken. there's many situations circling around "why" each abortion takes place but regardless, those three lives are mourned in my heart.
if i hadn't chosen to carry joshua he would be just one of those envelopes... his precious life reduced to a red piece of paper. God help us.

i just made a yummy stir fry for dinner tonight. cabbage, carrots, yellow squash, onions and ground turkey served over rice. yummy.
i got a good start on my day... went to the post office, picked up some groceries, met priscilla at the park for a picnic lunch, and even managed to watch "seven pounds" during joshuas nap. :)
for tonight, ive rented twilight and have things to make myself a root beer float. mmmm.
missing ryan.
same-o same-o. :)

i was craving snickerdoodles tonight so i made a big batch. they came out pretty good... too many for me and joshy to eat, though, so ry will have to bring some to work. :)

im meeting priscilla for a picnic lunch tomorrow. theres something awesome about picnic food, don't you think? on the menu: sandwiches, chips, pickle spears, and baby carrots w/ ranch. mmm! we usually meet every week for lunch and take turns bringing the food. i like our talks. :)

im really missing julie and jaci tonight... it doesnt seem fair that two of my closest friends moved away. im julies matron of honor in her wedding coming up, and tonight i talked to j on the phone for almost two hours... we've all kept up but it isnt the same. so much changed so fast. im full of memories.

by the end of this summer i will have two children. two. TWO. its unbelievable to me. my stomach is getting bigger by the day but im not sure how much of this has set in.
how will i do this?
what will happen to me and ryan?
will i still have time to look cute and kiss my husband??
ha. all of the same questions whizzed through my head when i was pregnant with joshua. we'll figure it out. our marriage has to come first... the greatest heartbreak would be to lose ryan as my best friend. as long as he's happy, im happy. :) as long as we're counting the hours until we see eachother every day, and rolling around in bed into the wee hours of the morning, never running out of things to talk and laugh about... then im good.

im good.

its all good.

*breathe*

i had a great morning. :) ry brought me breakfast in bed and cuddled with me until 9 o clock. i felt like i could have slept all day. ahhh i would give anything!

its really gorgeous outside... high of 65 today, breezy and sunny. joshuas taking a nap right now. i need to hop in the shower and then ill take him to the park for a couple hours. we might meet ryan for his lunch break.

nothing too exciting to report. shiloh is getting stronger by the day... i love feeling her move around in there. :) she's going to be so beautiful. i cant wait for august but i have so much to do before then!

just like when i was pregnant with joshua, ive been having tightening of my uterus daily. i find its worse when im really busy or stressed. yesterday it was pretty uncomfortable and i started cramping. i always think that its because im not drinking enough water but after downing a few glasses it doesnt seem to help. maybe thats just how my body works. who knows.

it was a good day. a long day, though. ryan and i are tired... too tired to put joshua to bed. not really physically tired, just mentally drained. we're over the sippy cups, the messes and the whining. i would really like him to go to bed right about now... on his own... no effort on my part. ah, the days...

i ordered a dress for the weddings on april 11th. i found it on target.com. a maternity dress, extra small thank god, "sea grape" in color. there were other black dresses i liked better but black doesnt feel appropriate for a spring wedding. its a jersey knit so it'll be comfortable and ill wear it with big earrings and my white flats. problem solved.

roses bridal shower is tonight.
then im coming home to ryan and i cant wait.

we had a good day. :) joshua slept til 8am (thought it felt like he was waking up at 5... lately i feel like i could sleep for days). we lounged around all morning... read books to joshy in bed, watched tv, had breakfast, coffee, such. after lunch we finally got ourselves together and took joshua to pet paradise. i used to go there all the time when i was young... i thought joshua might enjoy seeing all the birds and fish. he did! he was causious but kept saying "wooooow.... cooooooool...". hes a doll. :)

we got some slushes from sonic and came home. while ry went to meet pastor mike at barnes and noble i watched "rachael getting married". eh, it was alright. sort of depressing. at least i can scratch it off my list of movies to see. yes, i have a list. :) i love red box, haha.

when he came home we cooked dinner, i went to see my mom for a couple of hours, stopped by food lion for some groceries, and jonothan was here when i got back. theyre off at brandons bachelor party right now. im really going to try to stay awake so we can watch "wanted" together when he gets back.

i cant wait for tomorrow. im not sure why... maybe its because ryan isnt working any overtime this saturday. he's been going in for that a lot lately. i know we need the money, im just so selfish with my time with him.
i bought pancake mix, strawberries, bananas and bacon for breakfast in the morning. mmmm.
he has worship practice at 12, then i have roses bridal shower at 7.

ryan starts leading worship for the 10am service this sunday. i really believe its come at the perfect time... God's been doing so much in our hearts and lives the past few months. looking back i can see how carefully and beautifully he was lining up the pieces. chipping away at the mess. i feel like we have a clear, unhindered future for our family. money can still be tight; there are still worries and fears that can come and go. but my heart is light. im learning what it means to let go. to forgive. to feel loved. what more do i need? i'm in awe at how He works. humbled. blessed.

unhindered
adjective
not slowed or blocked or interfered with; "an outlet for healthy and unhampered action";


let my roots go down deep...

i'm listening to mae's first album. i still enjoy it. :) way more than any of their other albums. in fact, i don't like the majority of anything theyve come out with since. a couple of semi-decent songs here and there. 'okay' driving music. but their live shows suck. i quit going years ago. i miss the day i used to get excited about seeing them with ryan. time flys.

it's dark and rainy outside. joshua was cranky pretty much since the minute he woke up this morning so he's down for an early nap. he was getting upset that i was taking too long to put his sheet on the mattress and was practically climbing into the crib himself.
i hope shiloh enjoys her crib as much as her brother does. haha. :)

we set the date for my baby shower. saturday, may 2nd. my brothers wife-to-be is having hers the following weekend. i love that theyll be cousins and only one month apart. theyll reach all of their milestones around the same time, enjoy the same things... what if they even create their own little baby language with eachother? :)

last night ryan and i stayed in and enjoyed a night of american idol and dairy queen. so nice. once he gets back from working some overtime at geico we can enjoy another lazy day!

the floyds are coming over for dinner and im stoked because we can watch the premier of "in the motherhood" and a super juicy new episode of greys anatomy.

i've been cleaning all morning. really the only thing on my to-do list is to hang up some pictures/artwork we still havent put up since the move.

i feel soooo rested. joshua has been sleeping for TWO HOURS during his nap. and before that, he rolled around in our bed while i drifted in and out of sleep. he must be exhausted from yesterday. last night around midnight ry and i woke him up to play. :) we missed him! we couldn't help it. all of the lights were off and he just stayed awake in our bed giggling and talking and giving kisses. :)

ive been very emotional today. i cried when ryan left for work, and cried when he sent me a sweet text message. he always sends me sweet text messages... im just feeling very pregnant. :)

i feel like i should move my daily writings over to blogspot since everyone i know pretty much has one of those. i actually have a blog i created, just nothing posted. eh. maybe tomorrow.

so today flew by. i was grateful that ryan got a ride to work from ben so i wouldnt have to keep joshua crammed inside. we went on a baby shower invite search. garden ridge, walmart, party city. i did buy some from PC, but i think i'll return them because theyre rather bland and im contemplating making my own.
we had lunch at chic fil a and joshua played in the kids area for the first time. he had a blast! in order to leave i had to climb up to find him. in a couple more months that totally wont be possible. :)
we came home so he could nap, then we met lisa at barnes and noble. i indulged in a lemon raspberry bar (which im totally feeling quilty about now). i LOVE those things. oh, and not guilty about the calories, just the $2.25. haha.
after that lisa and i came back to the condo and watched a movie while joshua threw a fit... for the entire hour and a half.

he had no idea what to do with himself if i wasnt paying complete and total attention to him (which is why i never attempt anything besides laundry or loading the dishwasher when hes awake; i should have known a movie was out of the question). i try not to think about it usually, but every waking moment of every day is spent by taking care of him. i don't work outside of the home, but i seriously work my butt off inside of it. i dont think people understand how mentally draining it is. i never stop. is he asleep? is he waking up? is he thirsty? is he hungry? is he tired? does his diaper need to be changed? does he want me to read him a book? "joshua, don't touch that. play with this. no baby, thats not yours. don't put that in your mouth. come here. PLEASE come here. joshuaaaaaa." if he wants me to play with him, which is 99% of the time, he'll actually throw things at me to get my attention. he'll beg to have a book read to him (how can i say no?). he'll ask to go bye-bye about 17 times in 30 seconds. he'll flush the toilet just because. he'll throw his cup down when it's empty. don't get me wrong... he's an amazingly sweet child. he's learning to listen. he says please. it's just that they require SO MUCH as this age. its freaking exhausting!!! infants are a breeze, looking back.

on top of the day to day things (eat, sleep, drink, repeat), i'm raising another life. im bringing another human being into society. i'm being the arms of Jesus to this little one. everything i say, every tone i take with him, every disciplinary action i have to take is under the scrutiny of the expections ryan and i have for ourselves as parents. we believe in speaking blessings over him, always... addressing the behaviour and not attacking his identity as our son. respecting him as a person with his own mind, will, and emotions. calmly and efficiently handling every tear, every scream, every LONG day.

its more than just having a healthy, "happy" child. it's loving him into the man he will one day be. and that means even when im on my last straw. even when im completely exhausted and can't take a nap because he's awake. even when i'd give anything to have the house to myself to just listen to music and clean (still so theraputic for me). even when i didn't sleep the night before. even when ryan and i need alone time. even when i'd rather crawl up with a book or take a drive or do SOMETHING for myself, instead of searching for another sippy cup. even when im sick and would give anything to spend the day in bed. it simply isnt possible.

*sigh*

but at the end of the day every second was worth it. he gives meaning to my life. the greatest meaning of all, i think. i want to do it "right". i think i am. i hope i am. i love him with every fiber of my being. i just need strength. renewed strength. :)

sometimes i still feel this way... that expression of uncertainty, confusion, "how do i do this??"



but id do it over and over and over again. <3

i love ryan.

i wish he was home with me.

i feel so pathetic half the time with all of the missing that goes on between us

but i wouldnt have it any other way. :)

i think we're going to take off this weekend... williamsburg, maryland, DC, somewhere. :)

ry ordered a guitar off ebay yesterday. its pretty. i hope it comes in this week. :) he deserves it... ry's a dreamer but isnt able to get much for himself. all he has is the guitar i bought him while we were dating (quite nice, though) and an old amp he would much like to replace. he's always looking at things online. :)







joshy and i are home from church. ry had to leave early for work so my parents took me home. my tummy hurts, but im hungry. and sleepy. joshuas napping. there's just so much to get done before he wakes up... i wish i could take a looooong comfy nap.

yesterday we registered at BRUS and picked out shiloh's bedding. :)



i love it. i can't wait to get started on everything!

after that and a late lunch at panera ry and i headed over to my brothers house for a while. then to AMF for some bowling! we met up with travis, shane, melissa, bart and others. i had a great time!


prego fatty with the food.









it was a good day. :)

ive had the mo\st amazing week.
wednesday we had ryans dad over for dinner. it was the first time we'd seen him in eight months. he brought us new wine glasses, books and teddy bears for joshua, a couple bottles of red wine and two cigars for him and ryan. i could tell he had been really excited and happy to see us... it made my heart feel sad that so much time had gone by with so much hurt in between, but i saw Gods hand all over the night and i know He was pleased. i really believe that one day that mans heart will be restored and there will be healing between him and his kids. one day.
the following night we had the floyds over. it went really well! and kind of like with ryans dad, it frustrated me that it took so long for us to get to that point. but im so glad we got there, regardless. :)
then FRIDAY night i went to roses bachelorette party and had an absolute blast. i forget how much i really need time with other girls. moms, especially. it was a long night but i came home to my husband and we watched half of a scary movie before falling asleep. :)

today ryan is working four hours of overtime, so im doing laundry and cleaning and such. he gets home at 2:30, when my mom will pick up joshua, and then we'll have the rest of the day/night to be with just eachother! im so excited. i miss him.
we're going to register at babies r us, then see a dollar movie and get something to eat. i really dont care what we do, im just happy to be going out with him. :)

IT'S A GIRL!
welcome, little shiloh. :)